<?php
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$xhtml = array(
	'title' => 'House cleaning, coursework, and haunting, gripping fear',
	'body' => <<<END
<section id="general">
	<h2>General news</h2>
	<p>
		Despite being cold, last night was the best sleep that I&apos;ve had in over six months!
		When I got up, I was even able to get breakfast, as there was actually something around to eat!
		I felt energized and ready to work on the tasks that my mother has assigned me.
	</p>
	<p>
		My mother was angry, but all I feel is relief and pity.
		I think this shows how toxic my mother and our relationship are.
		It&apos;s like ... with one less person to spew their negative energies into, they have to keep them built up within themself.
		Come to think of it, my mother <strong>*has*</strong> been getting worse with each child that escapes.
		Now they&apos;re down to one child left.
		Poor Vanessa will be taking the full force of our mother&apos;s venom.
		My mother probably only realized I was gone though because they didn&apos;t have Internet access.
		We&apos;d been using <strong>*my*</strong> mobile connection to provide <strong>*their*</strong> Internet connection, leaving me without a mobile plan.
		I was the one with the one with the unlimited data plan, so I was the one that had to do it.
		Never once did my mother thank me for it, either.
		Later, they had a chance to get their own unlimited plan at a lower rate then their then-current plan, but instead, they signed another two-year contract with an overpriced carrier that has small data allowances and high overage fees.
		I should have been able to take my $a[SIM] card back, as they should have been able to supply their own Internet connection.
		Instead, I was stuck without a data plan still.
		I swear, my mother is a moron that only thinks of themself.
	</p>
	<p>
		Once I got to my mother&apos;s house to work on cleaning, I felt the negativity as soon as I stepped through the door.
		I mean, obviously this was all in my head, negativity doesn&apos;t physically manifest in the air, but it was unpleasant just the same.
		Between having spent the night free of it and knowing that I didn&apos;t have to stay, I was much better prepared mentally to deal with it though.
		I could leave as soon as the jobs were finished or as soon as the place became too much for me, whichever happened first.
		<a href="https://kubbi.bandcamp.com/album/2012-singles">Music from my Kubbi</a> helped with the atmosphere as well.
	</p>
	<p>
		Last night, after I&apos;d written my journal entry, I realized I had an empty freezer and could freeze the extra loaves of bread I purchased.
		So today, while in the area, I bought four more loaves to freeze.
		It&apos;s on sale, so I should get it now while it won&apos;t cost as much.
		There&apos;s such a variety on sale too; each of the seven loaves is a different type of bread.
		I also picked up some of those environmentally friendly, plant-based sponges to use at my mother&apos;s place.
		I doubt that they&apos;ll notice.
		Even if they do though, it&apos;s hard to be mad at finding extra cleaning supplies, especially as I removed the packaging that explained what they were.
		My mother might get peeved if they knew that I bought these because they&apos;re green, as they&apos;re against the fact that I even care about the environment.
		Whatever though.
		Their hold on me is only a fragment of what it once was.
		I think that they think that by pushing me away, they&apos;ll actually regain control of me or something, but they&apos;re just freeing me of my tie to them.
		Our relationship has always been toxic, and I&apos;m not going to struggle to maintain it while they try to both assert dominance and send me away at the same time.
		I couldn&apos;t find my mother&apos;s carpet broom, so I figured I&apos;d buy a new one to use at their house while I cleaned, then take it home with me to use in the future on my own carpet.
		No such luck though.
		The nearby store doesn&apos;t carry them.
		Eventually, I did find my mother&apos;s carpet broom though.
	</p>
	<p>
		There were three types of plant-based scrubbing sponges that I saw in the store, so I got one of each type for myself (two of one type, actually).
		To avoid arousing suspicion though, I only got my mother three of the same type, the most &quot;normal&quot;-looking of the three.
		They work pretty well, actually!
		The scrubbing pads sewn onto the sponges have the same problems that those green scrubbing pads have though: food gets stuck on them, there seems to be no way to get it all off, and the scrubbing pads come apart and ball up.
		Hmm.
		No one else seems to be bothered by this but me though, so I guess that it&apos;s alright.
		They do get all the food off of the dishes when used with soap, and I suppose that&apos;s all that counts.
		I&apos;m kind of hoping that the other two types are more to my liking though.
		I&apos;ve never liked those green scrubbing pads for the reasons above.
		Either way though, it&apos;s certainly nothing that I can&apos;t deal with if it means using renewable, plant-based cleaning supplies instead of oil-based plastics.
	</p>
	<p>
		While putting away dishes that I&apos;d washed, I noticed that the cupboard is now full of paper plates.
		I was only away on night, and already my mother is resorting to disposable dishes.
		What this tells me is that while my mother gets pissed off when I don&apos;t have time to do dishes, they certainly don&apos;t plan to actually wash dishes themself.
		No, of course not, as they actually understand the concept of not having time themself, even though other people must all be made of time.
		They probably went out and bought a set of disposable plastic spoons and forks, too, and I just haven&apos;t noticed them or gone looking for them.
	</p>
	<p>
		I had planned to stay until about 17:00 or 18:00, but I couldn&apos;t take being there.
		I punched out a little after 16:00.
		There&apos;s only three dishes left, all of which need to soak, and I&apos;ve scrubbed the sink.
		There&apos;re two choppers as well, but they need to soak for even longer and my mother never leaves them undisturbed when I&apos;m trying to prepare them for cleaning.
		I&apos;ve taken them home with me to soak in my own sink.
		What&apos;s left in the bedroom is now completely organized.
		I&apos;ve swept the floor, though if my mother sees it, they&apos;ll still complain.
		They&apos;ll say that I didn&apos;t vacuum throughly enough.
		I haven&apos;t even <strong>*started*</strong> the vacuuming and carpet shampooing yet though.
		Both are on my to do list.
		I didn&apos;t even touch the bathroom.
		I&apos;ll get to that at some point.
		My next cleaning session will likely involve finishing the dishes and cleaning the bathroom.
		Vacuuming and carpet shampooing will need to wait for an even later session.
	</p>
	<p>
		It rained, then hailed on the way home.
		I&apos;m only barely exaggerating when I say that the clouds don&apos;t run out of water here and only need to take short breaks.
	</p>
	<p>
		My mother asked today how to set up a Wi-Fi hotspot.
		They&apos;re on a stupid iPhone, so I looked up instructions for that device and sent them.
		They then asked what &apos;&quot;it&quot;&apos; is, with quotes around the word &quot;it&quot;.
		I thought that they were being a moron at first.
		I had originally begun my response with &quot;It looks like&quot;, and that was my only use of the word &quot;it&quot;.
		It turns out that they were actually being an even bigger morn though, and asking about my own mobile that we&apos;d been using, and which we hadn&apos;t talked about at all during the conversation.
		Apparently, they didn&apos;t recognize a smartphone, despite having had to interact with it daily to get the hotspot working.
		That particular device had a stupid habit of shutting off the hotspot daily, but my Replicant, the device that usually behaves better than a regular Android, doesn&apos;t have Wi-Fi capabilities.
		I explained that it had been my mobile, basically an iPhone that isn&apos;t made by Apple.
		They complained that iPhone hotspot usage as I&apos;d explained how to set up was too expensive, so I explained that that wasn&apos;t the iPhone doing that, it was Verizon.
		By sticking with Verizon, they&apos;d made hotspot usage prohibitively expensive.
		Long story short, they first asked about putting two plans on their iPhone, which iPhones can&apos;t do but some Androids can, then asked about getting a new plan on a new device.
		After a recommendation from me, it looks like they&apos;re likely to get service through MetroPCS.
		I would have recommended T-Mobile for even cheaper rates, but it&apos;d be too complicated for them to set up.
		Furthermore, they&apos;d have to get the device separately from the plan or pay through the nose.
		I&apos;m not sure how locked down T-Mobile devices are either, in regards to hotspot usage.
	</p>
	<p>
		I didn&apos;t take any photographs today, there wasn&apos;t any real time to.
		Normally, at this point, I&apos;d be snapping a photo of some trivial blur in the dark at the last minute.
		I&apos;m not doing that tonight.
		I don&apos;t feel like I need to.
		I think my photo spree was a coping mechanism for dealing with the increasingly-toxic atmosphere around my mother.
		I&apos;ll probably only include photos in my entries now when there&apos;s actually something worth showing, something relevant that can&apos;t be described in words; which certainly won&apos;t be daily.
	</p>
	<p>
		As I was writing that last paragraph about not having to cope with my mother, a very strange knocking sound came from the direction of my outer door.
		I knew that it had to be my mother.
		Why were they here to pester me in person?
		Don&apos;t they know how to use a doorbell?
		Was the strange, soft knocking to avoid waking me up if I were asleep?
		I was in bed already, writing up my entry for the night, so I hurriedly dressed and headed for the door.
		No one was there though.
		My mother&apos;s car wasn&apos;t out in the lot, either.
		As soon as I got back to my bedroom, sounds started coming from the toilet.
		How could anyone have gotten past me and into the apartment?
		I rushed over to find my mother, but again, no one was there.
		I need to calm down.
		My mother&apos;s not here to haunt me any more.
		Furthermore, I&apos;m in a complex.
		Other people, other sounds are here.
		That knocking was probably just someone in another unit or someone knocking on the door of another unit, explaining its softness.
		I&apos;m free, everything&apos;s awesome, and everything is going to <strong>*stay*</strong> awesome.
		The longer I stay here away from the toxicity, the more I&apos;ll come to accept my new reality.
		I had no idea how much I feared my own mother.
	</p>
	<p>
		My <a href="/a/canary.txt">canary</a> still sings the tune of freedom and transparency.
	</p>
</section>
<section id="dreams">
	<h2>Dream journal</h2>
	<p>
		My dream last night was very short; it was less than five seconds long.
		My mother asked &quot;What&apos;s your number, son?&quot;, and it seemed like they wanted some sort of $a[ID] number to enter into a computer.
		I asked &quot;Number for what?&quot;, then woke up.
		This is the first time that I can remember actually remembering the beginning of a dream.
		It was a void.
		It was nothing.
		Then suddenly, the dream scene was there.
		Dreams don&apos;t fade in, they start abruptly.
		At least, in some cases they must, as this one did.
	</p>
</section>
<section id="university">
	<h2>University life</h2>
	<p>
		I barely got my discussion posts and essay grading submitted on time, but I did get them in early enough to have time for the ungraded quiz.
		Unfortunately, I haven&apos;t had time to complete the reading assignment that the quiz was on ...
		I&apos;ll get that finished tomorrow though, as that&apos;s when the <a href="https://y.st./en/coursework/PHIL1404/#Unit4">learning journal assignment</a>, and thus effectively the reading assignment, is due.
	</p>
	<blockquote>
		<p>
			I can only see that going one of two ways.
			If Pani had admitted to $a[AMD] that they were going to share secrets, $a[AMD] wouldn&apos;t be able to trust Pani with their own.
			One option would be that $a[AMD] wouldn&apos;t hire Pani at all.
			The other option is a bit more corrupt.
			$a[AMD] could hire Pani to get the secrets, but either put Pani in a job that wouldn&apos;t have access to $a[AMD]&apos;s own secrets or promptly fire Pani after they revealed the secrets.
			In any case, Pani&apos;s future with $a[AMD] would be grim, assuming that such a future with $a[AMD] existed at all.
		</p>
	</blockquote>
	<blockquote>
		<p>
			Do you mean Intel?
			Pani copied information from Intel and secretly gave it to $a[AMD], not the other way around.
			We can&apos;t really blame $a[AMD], as $a[AMD] didn&apos;t know, had no way to know, and had no way to stop it.
		</p>
		<p>
			I&apos;m highly opposed to the patent system, so I can&apos;t agree with you on that point, but I do understand the value of securing your systems.
			There&apos;s a reason that users on a Unix or Unix-like system are only given the basic permissions they need and not given full system control.
			It&apos;s all about mitigating damage.
			People cannot be trusted, and giving them access to parts of the system that they don&apos;t need access to (such as <strong>*any*</strong> part of the system in Pani&apos;s case during the vacation) is just inviting trouble.
			It does no good, but can always do harm.
		</p>
	</blockquote>
	<blockquote>
		<p>
			It&apos;s also important to note that Pani wasn&apos;t able to do their job at Intel without that information.
			Having access wasn&apos;t just for ease, but to make their employment functional.
			Companies can&apos;t do anything with their information unless real people have access to that info.
		</p>
		<p>
			You make a good point that Intel might not have compensated Pani fairly.
			Do we have any evidence that this was the case though?
			Well, I suppose there&apos;s the fact that Pani left.
			If Pani thought that Intel was treating them fairly, they probably would have stayed.
		</p>
	</blockquote>
	<blockquote>
		<p>
			Hmm.
			Your post brings up an interesting point.
			Intel thought of Pani as an employee.
			This would be true even if Pani wasn&apos;t on vacation, and was actually still working.
			However, they could have (assuming that there was no hour-scheduling conflicts) still seek employment at $a[AMD].
			Do you think that it would be unethical to work two jobs?
			Or would it only be a problem if the two jobs were in the same field?
			Would it depend on what field you worked in?
		</p>
	</blockquote>
</section>
END
);
